39: You’re Not a Fraud! Destigmatizing those feelings of being an “Imposter”
If you are a business owner, and a woman, it’s pretty much a sure thing that you’ve heard the term imposter syndrome. At some point you may have even felt like a bit of an imposter in your quest to become the best animal, equine or agricultural based business owner you can. What is happening when you feel like you don’t belong in your industry? That you are “faking it until you make it or are feeling like you aren’t worthy of your success? What if we challenge those feelings and focus less on “fixing YOU” and more on fixing the places and industries that women are now more a part of than ever before?
Our Big 3 Takeaways
Identify the Source
Ask yourself where the feelings you’re experiencing are sourcing from. Are you compaing yourself to everyone else? Can you recognize your difference is good? And can you recognize that your contribution is unique in a place where you are different from everyone else?
Build Your Network
Having support is key in success — gather your Sustainability Squad, work with a mentor, add cheerleaders to your network and keep in touch with your network often. Reach out when you’re feeling stressed, or down, or “less than” for support.
Challenge Your Self Doubt
Hi those feelings head on — create an achievements list and file, remind yourself of the facts and “flip the script” on negative thoughts. It’s okay to do things differently!
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Mentioned in the episode:
Link to Harvard Review Article
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Kimberly Beer 0:00
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Welcome to The Business Animal podcast. settle up for a gallop to the top of the animal industry, where you’ll learn how to tame your wild business beast with tips, techniques, and tools that will take overwhelm to obedience school, and have you wagging your tail with joy. And now your hosts, Kim Beer, and Cara Taylor Swift.
Kimberly Beer 0:41
Hey, business animals, it’s Kim with Be More Business
Cara Taylor Swift 0:45
and Cara with Fast Horse photography. Good morning, Kim.
Kimberly Beer 0:47
Good morning, Cara. And today we have a really important topic that we want to discuss. And I think it’s something that I know a lot of my sisters in entrepreneurship have discussions about and it’s around those feelings you have when you feel like you’re a fraud or a fake or like you really don’t belong in the business that you’re in. And I don’t think I have ever met another woman in entrepreneurship that has not run across these feelings in their business. What about you, Cara?
Cara Taylor Swift 1:24
Absolutely. I think the biggest you know, when you think about like the requests we get for mentoring on a regular basis. I know especially in the photography industry, I have lots of women contacting me, and they’re just looking to learn more, they’re looking to know more, but it’s not, it’s sometimes it doesn’t feel like it’s so much about needing to have the extra tools, but it’s more about legitimizing themselves in the field, and trying to fit some kind of stereotype of professionalism in the field. So we’re going to talk about this idea of feeling like an imposter.
Kimberly Beer 1:54
So we’ve had this labeled in our world as imposter syndrome. And to be frank with you when we started brainstorming on this episode, that was the title of it. And then as Cara gets into her research and was doing research, she ran across an article that was published, I think it’s the Harvard Business Review was, am I quoting that correctly, we’ll have a link to the article. Yep, the Harvard Business Review, we’ll have a link to the article in the show notes. Because I think it’s a really important article to read, especially if you are a woman or a person of color, or someone who doesn’t fit a white heterosexual male kind of, quote, unquote, norm. And right off the bat, please let both Cara and I state we have nothing against white heterosexual men, Cara’s married to one. I have one here in my home that I dearly love birth one. So that’s not what this episode is about. We’re not wanting to bash or have any kind of ill feelings towards white men. That’s not the goal of this. The goal of this is though, is to get you as a listener who may not be amongst that norm to kind of perk up your ears and listen for a minute about where this imposter syndrome, quote, unquote, which we neither of us really want to use that word. And I’ll get to more of that in a second comes from and if you are a white male, to listen up and see if you can recognize where this is happening in those other people in your life that aren’t like you. So I think that’s the goal of, of all of this is just to bring some awareness around it. So this article that Cara found, really states that imposter syndrome is something that got labeled on to a feeling that that doesn’t deserve that label.
Cara Taylor Swift 3:51
It basically started this idea of imposter syndrome started in the late 1970s, there was a study done that focused on, you know, just women that are considered high achieving, and then they still had these feelings of not being able to meet the needs in their academic settings or their professional accomplishments, regardless of what those were still believing that they’re just not at the level that everyone else is that they’re not doing as well as they should be that they’re not really quite as bright or maybe that they’ve just got everyone fooled into believing that they know what they’re talking about. And when I was reading this, I was, you know, just blown away by the fact that, you know, this is something that is predominantly, I would say 90% found, it seems like in women like any Women’s Conference and Kim I think you can attest to this. You’ve gone to women’s conferences and have been speaker at women’s conferences and and I’m gonna say you might even have touched on this subject before, you know in conferences, but if you go to a women’s focus conference, the topic of imposter syndrome or building your self confidence in the workplace is something that comes up over and over and over again. And, you know, I was even thinking about it to myself, you know, I was always taught this mentality of you fake it until you make it, you know, and that was shoved down my throat as a child, right? And where was that coming from? And what was I trying to make it to? Am I really working towards a goal that is right for me, or am I working towards this idea that I need to be at a certain level because that’s where the quote unquote professionals in that field are at. And I am never going to be able to get there. Because the way that I work and the way that I think and the way that I do things is maybe completely different from someone who was raised in an environment or someone who’s maybe a white male and walks into a workplace, and they’re completely at home. So that’s a long way of saying, we’re excited to talk about the idea of anyone who’s out there, that doesn’t feel like they belong in their industry, if you’re working in animal based business, and you just don’t feel like you belong, or that you’re faking it until you make it like I said earlier that I felt sometimes or that you’re never going to be able to walk in those shoes. We’re here to talk through some of that with you today. And let you know that we feel that way sometimes, too. Absolutely, absolutely. And we want to talk through like where that comes from, and get you to challenge some of those misconceptions. And then we want to give you guys some tips on maybe just being as badass as possible for yourself.
Kimberly Beer 6:27
Yeah, and that fake it till you make it. I have walked into that cliche, numerous times in my life. And every single time, I think it is around to the fact that I didn’t feel comfortable. And rather than acknowledge that I didn’t feel comfortable, like fake it till you make it, you know what, I think I’d like to change that to do it until you become it. Do it, that because that’s really what you’re doing. You’re not faking it, by the way that fake it till you make it, if you are out there doing it, you’re not faking it, that is real. And this, this concept of that is fake, I think plays into this misconception that then you’re imposter when you get there. Because the reality is, is we all have to start somewhere. And we all have levels that we have to grow to, to be able to reach our highest level of performance and our best contribution, and you’re not faking nothing. You are doing it, and then you can become it. So I want to flip that around. And I don’t know if that’s the exact statement I want to end up with. But I want to flip that, as you say, Cara flip that script on this particular conversation. When you were talking about photographers in particular, photography is a very male dominated career field. And I happen to have somewhat unwittingly chosen a lot of male dominated career fields. In my multiple interests. Agriculture is another one, when I first took over ownership of the ranch, actually, I guess in to a certain extent of, of the women I know in my community, there’s really two or three of us that are actively involved in management of, of the animals or the land that we own. Agriculture is very male dominated. Printing was one of my first businesses, that’s another very male dominated. When I worked in corporate America, I worked in programming, which is a another very male dominated career area, I was constantly running up against trying to fit into the mold of what was viewed as successful. And the unfortunate piece of that is that just totally not me. I can’t be that because I am not that, but I can bring my unique characteristics and my unique talents to the equation. And rather than being an imposter, trying to fake it as someone else, and I think I’m repeating some of what Cara said, here, I think you have to go, I’m gonna I’m gonna write a new way to do this, because I don’t fit that mold. And I’m going to show the success from my point of view, Cara came up with some ways that this shows up in your life. Go ahead, Cara,
Cara Taylor Swift 9:21
I think that we should go ahead and give kind of a definition of what imposter syndrome is perceived as like, if you go online and you see one of those 5000 articles, they’re going to define it this way for you. And then I want to just challenge that one step further before we go on. So if you are thinking about imposter syndrome, and you go online and you find one of those 5000 Googled articles, it’s going to say it’s the persistent inability to believe that one success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills. And I think that there’s probably a lot of people listening that are working in an animal based or agri based business that feel like Maybe they would fit something in their life fits this. So the idea then is that imposter syndrome directs our view towards fixing Women at Work instead of fixing the places where women work, and which is just what Kim was talking about. Like, if you are working in an industry that has maybe historically been worked by men, and you’re a woman coming into that field, there might be times when you feel like you have to act a certain way, or work a certain way that really isn’t your character or your natural nature. So the idea of fixing Women at Work instead of fixing the places where women work, and so that can also be perceived than as just being fraudulent or fraudulent in the workplace. So I think that at least gets people kind of rolling with where our mindset is around this, Kim, and then we can roll into so Is this you, you know, are you feeling this way? Or have you felt that way?
Kimberly Beer 10:54
Yes, exactly. Exactly. One other thing I want to mention before we move on the way that you said that definition really keyed something else in agriculture that I think people struggle with agriculture and I know we have people that own farms and ranches that listen to this podcast, one of the things in agriculture, a lot has to do with inheritance, like a lot of like my own ranch, I inherited this, right, this has been generations of work, both within my family and within the previous owners of it. And there was a long time in my own evolution of becoming the steward here that I had to run up against the fact that I wasn’t the person who paid for it, but I had to find my own success in and notice that I deserved to be the steward. And after it took me about 15 years, I’m gonna be honest with you the long haul, but I finally looked around and said, here’s the things I’ve added. Here’s the things that I’ve done. So And yes, I did it way differently than my father did it. So there’s, there’s all of that too. There’s there’s lots of layers to this conversation, which makes it so fascinating. So Cara, do you want to go over your list now of kind of ways that this might be showing up?
You know I’m a list maker when it comes to this kind of stuff. So, okay, so if you’re out there, and you’re running your animal, agri-based business, and you’re thinking to yourself, What does this feel like? So, have you ever felt like you were faking it or tricking people in your work or felt like you achieve something just by being lucky or slipping through the cracks like Kim’s inheritance of her ranch, feeling like you need to keep others from seeing your limitations or flaws, feeling unworthy of your success, having endless self doubt around the work that you provide? Feeling incompetent, regardless of your education, your experience and your accomplishments and feeling like you’re not qualified enough? Or even just distrusting the success that you’ve had? Like, is it real? Did I earn it any of those feelings is what this perceived fraudulence feels like I think for a lot of people. So if you’re out there and you’re thinking, Gosh, I’ve definitely felt that way. At some point I’m constantly trying to level up I’m you know, then this is this is what we’re talking about.
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Absolutely. And I can tell you, when I have clients show up in front of me as a matter of fact, I had a very talented photographer come to one of my consultation sessions, who was worried about the quality of her work, being good enough to achieve what the price was that she needed to be charging for it. And anyone, anyone could have looked at her work and said, Oh my Yes, the quality is there. And I hope that other people have been telling her that but she couldn’t see her own success, which a lot of times has to do with a lot of things that have come up within our lives, either within our culture or within our childhood, we call that in the equine Gestalt coaching realm with Melissa, Melissa has titled it as a troll on your shoulder. So that’s a really all of these things can feel like a troll just the image of that. Yeah, it’s a troll on your shoulder, right? It sits there and it whispers in your ears. You are not worthy of this. You don’t deserve this. It doesn’t matter what you’ve accomplished in the past. You don’t deserve this. You were just lucky or look at. Yeah, that was really good. But look at this, look at what you’ve done wrong. All of that negative talk, if that’s something that has happened to you, or you hear that that’s what we’re talking about today. That perceived fraudulence, that imposter syndrome thing, the the feeling that you just don’t fit in or you don’t belong in the place that your goals want to take you. That’s the discussion. Do we want to roll into the big three of how we’re going to help people combat this?
Cara Taylor Swift 16:01
I think so. I think we’re ready at this point. Okay, so Kim and I put together a big three that we think would be really helpful for anyone that is having feelings of self doubt. That is, you know, experiencing any of the things that we mentioned above, you know, and that kind of falls into this category, the first one that we recommend is identifying where these feelings are coming from. And we’ll talk a little bit about that the second of the Big Three is build connections in the third is challenge your self doubt. So the very first one, it makes me laugh when I see our notes on it, because identifying where it comes from. And the very first thing we have is patriarchy strikes again. And it just makes me laugh, because Kim and I have had so many discussions around that. And that’s the note that we left there. So the thought process behind that though, is and I can give an example, I’ve had the benefit of working with in mostly women centered locations, mostly women’s centered work environments. And before I became a photographer, I was working for a larger organization that was 99.9% female employees, but they were working really hard to feel like their business, their organization was legitimate and deserving of funding, and professional. And they found themselves trying to mold themselves into a very traditional, this is probably not correct, but more of like a Mad Men style of business, trying to really fit in that mold. And I’ve never worked in any environment where I felt less comfortable, less like myself, less like a fraud than I did in that environment. Even though it was all women. They were trying to fit this mode in the Super professionalized and professional is not the right word, this, this dominating type feeling working there. And I’m not saying that right. But I think you guys probably get the idea.
Kimberly Beer 17:56
Yeah, what you’re saying, I get what you’re saying. Because I look at like in agriculture, in particular, more and more women are getting involved in ag these days. And the interesting thing is, is that first they tried to duplicate exactly the way that men work exactly the way the norms had been set up. And, and I don’t even want to say men, it’s the system, it’s the way that we did things. And now because there’s new people coming into it, there’s new blood, there’s new ideas. If you try to do it the same old way, it doesn’t really work well. And that’s what means it feels so fake is because you’re not bringing your own unique gifts. Well in ag, we see when women manage especially like herds of cattle, I think some of the best cattle managers I have ever met have been women because they have a unique touch a unique understanding, particularly of the birthing process that really brings their unique gifts into that environment. And it’s shifted a lot of the way that we think about things. A perfect example of this, if you want to follow it of breaking that type of barrier and breaking down communication efforts of someone who is truly different and did it their ways. Temple Grandin, if you haven’t heard of or followed Temple Grandin, go take a look. Because there’s a woman who has definitely broken a lot of the rules around the ways thing was were done and brought her unique gift into it and really helped out that I see what you’re saying when you try to do it that same old way and try to force yourself into basically duplicating the system that’s already there. It’s uncomfortable and and I think that’s a place where we don’t identify
Cara Taylor Swift 19:46
this and that was evident in the fact that the turnover rate of the women that work there was extremely high. They were unhappy, uncomfortable and in some ways actually felt abused because they weren’t fitting into that norm that stereotype that they needed to fit into so yeah, I mean, just because the I’m using quotes here, this is the way it’s always been done to be successful is is a saying it doesn’t mean it has to be, you know, like if you’re not a strong like Kim, you gave this example earlier, if you’re not as strong and able to lift hay bales, like the male farmer next door, that doesn’t mean you can’t still do the job, you work smarter. You know, you work smarter, you get the tractor and you you lift five times the hay bales that the farmer is lifting, right? So it doesn’t just because this is the way it’s always been done, doesn’t mean it has to be that way. Do you want to talk some more about killing the troll? I do?
Kimberly Beer 20:05
Because I think that I think that honestly comes into this whole thing. Okay. So here’s an example of this. In my own personal life, I have experienced and I’m going to tell you, you all have to you just may not recognize it, what I would consider ancestral trauma, right. So I was adopted by my grandparents, which means that I actually went back a generation and in the people that raised me, I was very blessed in many aspects of that. But in some other ways, I was really taught this system of a generation prior to the one that probably should have been raising me and so much of the things that made me feel fake, that made me feel like that imposter or a fraud, especially when I started heading into career fields that were very systematized very male dominated, was my mother on my shoulder saying you shouldn’t do that. You shouldn’t act that way. Or that’s really outside of what a woman should be doing, you should be more acquiescence and act in a different way. That’s not maybe lady like. So that’s how it showed up for me, it can show up in a multitude of ways you can have, it can be a parent, or a co worker, or a boss or any of that, that has kind of played into what would be an insecurity, possibly with you, or a question mark, or something that, again, doesn’t fit that system of the way it’s been done. And then it gets cast in your head is kind of this character, and it becomes a voice that sits on your shoulder. You’ve all seen the the images of like the devil on your shoulder on one side, and the angel on your shoulder on the other that kind of talk trash to you. So that’s the troll. And this is where that feeling starts to come from, you need to pinpoint down who is that troll? And how do you address the troll and basically get rid of them, send them back underneath that bridge and tell him that this is your bridge, you get to run it. And sorry, they have no control. They have no power here. So there’s a lot of ways to do that. And possibly we need to invite Melisa Pierce who is was touched by horses, she had some great, great notions around how to kill that troll. We’ll have her on for another episode to kind of Yeah, we’re due to have her back on sometimes Yeah, we are due. And so that would be a good one to bring her back, because she’s got some great information about that. But I do think it is important to recognize where it comes from. The thing is, is that sometimes we attribute that to a specific person. And it’s the system like I gave the example with my mother. And one of the things in the research in this episode and talking with Cara, I kind of recognize she didn’t have control over that. That was the way the system had brought her up to be. And the fact that that showed up as a troll on my shoulder really had to do with the way that she was raised. And that had to do with the way that that particular grandmother’s mother raised her. So there’s a lot of generational trauma that goes on in there. And when you sit down and you identify it, then you can go oh my and in me, I’m going to get my woowoo my woowoo stick out again, when you untangle that not to me, I think it energetically untangles the knot all the way back. So you’re not only releasing yourself, you’re releasing the previous generations energy and you’re preventing that from going on to other people and you becoming that troll for somebody else. So it’s a really, it’s a really nice not to undo because it releases a lot of energetic stress and trauma.
Cara Taylor Swift 24:26
I really like that and I will say I really liked that but the way that you put that too makes me think you’re killing the troll but the truth is, is that troll unfortunately is just misinformed or is just a product of their upbringing and trying to set you up for success in a world that maybe you weren’t necessarily designed for, you know, that you’re trying to work in. And so that kind of rolls us right into our next point we wanted to make on this is are you comparing yourself to everyone else right that’s around you are the people that are considered to be the successes in that industry. You know, are you comparing yourself to those people as your level of where you need to be so that you’re not considered an underachiever or a fraud? Or someone that’s not going to make it? And can you recognize that your difference is good? Yeah, exactly. And maybe we need to say that again, that your difference is good. It is a good thing,
Kimberly Beer 25:19
it is a good thing. And
Cara Taylor Swift 25:20
it’s worthy, and it deserves to be there.
Kimberly Beer 25:22
It does. And on top of that, you know, it’s really hard to live up to somebody else’s definition of success. Are you trying to live your life as somebody else’s definition of success? Or are you going to live it at your level or your definition of success? And I honestly think that begs the question for a lot of women in particular, to redefine what they consider success. Because if we’re measuring our success against the typical standard of success that our male counterparts are putting out there, we may have a completely different definition. And that’s bringing our own unique gift back into the equation. So yeah, that’s a challenge to redefine or to define, to begin to define, what do you view as success for your life?
Cara Taylor Swift 26:17
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And then that last piece that we have here that I want to make sure we say it out loud, as you know, can you recognize that your contribution is unique and a place where you’re different from everyone else? And that that’s okay. Absolutely. And that you can get to the same high standard and that it’s good, right, you can get to that same high standard that you want to get to. But it’s okay to get there differently, to have different ideas to be unique about that. Absolutely.
Kimberly Beer 27:28
And sometimes that I think that’s rolls us really nicely into our second of the big three is that sometimes you recognizing your contribution maybe kicks off with somebody else helping you recognize that contribution, pointing it out, because sometimes we’re the most blind to what we own. So sometimes it takes someone else to say, hey, wait a minute, you are successful. Look at what you’ve done, look at what you’ve accomplished. And that reinforcement is really super important. So the second of the big three is to build connections, so that you have that sustainability squad, we did an episode on that. And we’ll link to it in the show notes around creating the people in your life that are going to support you. And that when you do feel insecure, or you are feeling a little less than you can go back to that network. And you can either shore that up and make sure it’s good and solid, whatever that happens to be, or you can have someone point out to you, hey, look, stop a minute, recognize what you have contributed here and recognize your unique gift to this situation. So I think that’s really, really important.
Cara Taylor Swift 28:46
So you’re building that sustainability squad and one of the things on the sustainability squad is having a mentor or to work with a mentor. And you know, we definitely recommend working with, you know, a person like you who’s been where you’ve been, and can kind of guide you where you want to go. Maybe they’ve walked that walk before you that’s a great place to start. I can tell you a time when as a photographer, I hired someone to give me some mentoring. And we sat down and we were talking about cameras and gear and equipment and just doing all the photography things and he starts talking to me about how when you’re posing women, you need to make sure that they have like a good bra. And he starts giving me all of these tips about like women and their breasts and the position they should be in for photography. And I have never been more uncomfortable in my life and realizing that I’m just not working with the right person and we’re not going in the right direction. Yeah, so definitely find someone who you know that you’re going to feel comfortable around that’s going to get you going in the right direction and has walked in your shoes before to some extent if possible. Yeah, I just was thinking about that as a mentor gone wrong. Someone that really had no idea where I was coming from
Kimberly Beer 29:59
Absolutely, and I think we’ve all run into similar situations. And hopefully, as we become more aware in our world, and even though that awareness is really super uncomfortable for some people, the act of becoming aware is not always a pleasant one. But as we become more aware of things, those types of situations will start to maybe less than a little bit. I know I’m in a Pollyanna and I’m constantly I do have a positivity problem. But I truly believe that we are on a better track. And someday we’ll understand each other a little bit more Cara also had another really interesting thing with the build connections that I probably wouldn’t have put in here. But I think it’s really important. And that’s that you can’t be good at everything. And sometimes it’s okay to outsource. If that’s a connection that you you need to have is somebody to outsource to and there’s nothing absolutely nothing wrong with it. And just because you outsource does not make you a fraud or an imposter. Do you want to talk a little bit more about that? Yeah,
Cara Taylor Swift 31:04
it’s totally okay. Not to be amazing at everything and your business is totally okay. I’m gonna just say it right now. It’s totally okay. So if you’re sitting there, you’re like, I have to know how to do everything. Let me just put it out there for you. If that’s your troll and your shoulder, if that’s what’s holding you back. Just give it a little flick off your shoulder because it’s totally okay, giving you permission right now to not be good at everything. There are people out there who are that are for hire, that you can outsource that part of your business to if you need to. Yeah,
Kimberly Beer 31:32
and I can guarantee you they outsource the things that they’re not good at. It’s a community, right? It takes a village to have a village. So it’s really important, it takes a village to have a village. Okay, so the third of the big three is to challenge yourself doubt. And I think sometimes you have to look head on at that. And I’ll tell you, I’ll out myself on a little personal story here. For most days, I wake up now and feel pretty comfortable in what I do. I feel pretty successful about what I do. But I have moments where I do not. And over this year, I’ve been faced with several of those moments. And the other day I walked out onto the porch and I just got gobsmacked by one of them kind of like who are you to think you you can be doing this. So I’ve been included in a really popular book that by the way, really proud to say we reached the number one bestseller on Amazon with The Female Entrepreneurs Playbook. Yay, yay. And I’ve been featured in several other things. I’ve been on some really important speaking engagements. I’ve been invited to some great panels. I you know, I’ve had a lot of achievements. And I’m standing on my front porch looking around going. Who do you think you are to do this? Who do you think you are to advise other people in business? Who do you think you are? To stand in the shoes? Who do you think you are to lead people in creativity and writing and stand up on stages and talk to people and and help people with Gestalt? And I mean, who do you think you are? And and it just like really knocked me almost to my knees for a few minutes. And I had to go I when this happens to me, what I do is I sit down and I take stock. I am really super honest with myself, Where have I been? What have I done? What have I accomplished. And when I look around my ranch, the ranch when I inherited it, it was not really financially viable. My mother had a really good retirement and the the ranch had been surviving off of that. I took it from risk of foreclosure to making a profit, I look at my business, I went from bankruptcy court to a successful business, I look at the successes of my clients, so on and on and on. I make mental notes. I encourage people to write these things down. If you get into those moments where that sort of happens to you have you walk out, walk out your door one day or sitting in your office and going that way am I to do this, make a list of those things that you’ve accomplished. And don’t forget the uniqueness that you bring that we’ve talked about throughout the episode and remind yourself that those things are there that you you have done it, you you are successful, and you’re successful in your own definition of success. And that’s the only definition that matters in this case. So I challenge that perception that you don’t deserve this or you are not enough Has that ever happened to you, Cara?
Cara Taylor Swift 34:37
Yeah, I’m just sitting here thinking that you know, there’s people that are listening and I hope what people are hearing is that if a badass like you who has done so much can still have days where you feel like you know an imposter like you’re faking it in the world or you’re not making it then it’s OK but you have to have some tools in place to get yourself past it because it’s the reality is it’s just not true. Right? So Kim gave that That great example. And she’s talked about doing an achievements list. But the truth of the matter is, is Kim can probably put together an achievement file cabinet. And so can all of you out there, yeah, well, yeah, there are a you all, all of us, every single one of us out here kicking acid are businesses, whether we’re just getting started to where we’re moving into new phases of the business, we have achievements and reminders that we can put together to help pull us out of that funk. Alright, remind ourselves of the facts that we have got our certifications, we’ve gone to school, we’ve read the books, we’ve done the work, we’ve, you know, we’ve done all of these things. That’s just the facts. We’re
Kimberly Beer 35:41
we’re not faking it, we’re doing it. No faking it, we’re not faking it, we are doing
Cara Taylor Swift 35:48
it and flip the script. I know I say this a lot. But flip the script on those negative thoughts. You know, I am not good enough at this yet. Bull baloney. I just did it yesterday, and I was totally fine at it, you know, or there’s gonna be setbacks like that. But flip those scripts and remind yourself that it is totally okay to do things differently. It’s okay, there is not a roadmap that you have to follow, you got to point A, and you’ve got to point B, C, D, you have to get there at some point if you’re going to be successful, probably. But how you get there, you take any map Road, any path, you walk through the woods, it doesn’t matter to get yourself there, it’s okay to do things differently. You don’t have to stay on that narrow definition of what has already been created before you and then the idea of healthy self doubt into positive motivation. Can you speak to that a little bit,
Kimberly Beer 36:41
I can because to be honest, another thought I had right after the Who the hell are you to be doing this. And I went through my list and I sat down and I’m I am the person to be doing this came up. And then I felt good, because I did have a moment where I had to go back and reassess. And there are times I’m going to be honest, when those moments show up, when I go back through that achievement list and go, I could have done this better, I could do better at this, I can see where I can improve in my own success, I can take it up a level. And I feel like people who don’t have that moments, who don’t have that moment, every once in a while. They’re the ones who maybe need to reassess a few things. Because I do believe it’s not only a good thing that it does help you level up to where you maybe even didn’t see you could go because you weren’t at that point yet. It’s like climbing the mountain. Until you get to a certain point you can’t see what’s ahead of you. And at that moment, when you have those who the hell are you moments, that’s when you need to be looking up and going, that’s higher, that’s where I want to go. And you’ll motivate yourself to get there. So I do think that there is that there’s a positive piece to that. And honest to God, I don’t even think I know a person who doesn’t have this particular revelation, at least a little bit in their life, male, female, you know, anyone who doesn’t have that, that sort of revelation every once in a while, except for maybe some narcissists that I’ve dated, maybe didn’t have those moments.
Cara Taylor Swift 38:32
We’re not gonna give them any
Kimberly Beer 38:34
further, we’re not gonna give them any space. But for for the rest of you, I think it’s a good healthy indication that you’re on the right path that you’re climbing the right mountain. And that that that moment is is a way for you to reassess and kind of figure out what you want to do better or what you want to do different.
Cara Taylor Swift 38:52
So this is the thing that Kim and I want to leave you guys with today. I think if you hear this from no one else, if you don’t even hear it in your own mind to yourself, hear it from us today and then share it hopefully share it with someone else tomorrow. You little animal based business owner out there are worthy of being in the room. You earned it.
Kimberly Beer 39:12
You earned it. You earned it.
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