50: Banishing Your Troll For A Better Business
Trolls are that nasty little voice in your head that keeps you awake at 3:00 am reminding you of all the things you struggle with. Telling you that you just aren’t good enough. You aren’t capable. You won’t be successful. That your business will fail. Trolls prevent you from taking action, taking new opportunities or taking the next step towards your goals. This week, Cara and Kim, are pleased to welcome back Melisa Pearce of Touched by a Horse to help us identify and banish our troll. You will not want to miss this motivational episode!
We know you will want to hear more from Melisa so go check her out on her website at https://touchedbyahorse.com/ and follow her Instagram and Facebook at @touchebyahorse .
Our Big 3 Takeaways
Identify Your Troll
Find the Source of the Troll
Don't Feed the Troll
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Mentioned in the episode:
Melisa Pearce Touched by a Horse
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Kimberly Beer 0:00
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Welcome to The Business Animal podcast. Saddle up for a gallop to the top of the animal industry, where you’ll learn how to tame your wild business feast with tips, techniques, and tools that will take overwhelm to obedience school and have you wagging your tail with joy. And now your hosts Kim Beer and Cara Taylor Swift.
Kimberly Beer 0:41
Hey there business animals. It’s Kim with Be More Business
Cara Taylor Swift 0:45
and Cara with Fast Horse photography. Hi.
Kimberly Beer 0:47
Hey everyone, Hey have we got a treat for you today. Now back in episode 12. We had a wonderful woman on who helped us with entrepreneurial mindset. Her name is Melisa Pearce. She’s the CEO and founder of touched by a horse, which I am going to be graduating from shortly. I’m so excited.
Cara Taylor Swift 1:07
Kimberly Beer 1:08
Short two weeks left in my education. And I’m thrilled. Melisa has been a very important mentor in my life and a very important guide and teacher and also business partner and joint venture partner and all kinds of things so dearly. I dearly love Melisa, and I love what she has to say. And I’m going to say that our episode today is going to focus on a topic that I believe Melisa is an expert surgeon on and that is killing your troll. So we all have that little troll who sits on our shoulder. Or if you haven’t been to Melisa, you have the troll. If you’ve been to Melisa, she helps you flick it off your shoulder. But we sometimes have that troll on our shoulder that gives us all this negative self talk gets us convinced we can’t do things. And that’s just not right. And we want to stop that. So we’re having Melisa on today to help us get a little bit better handle on on our troll and what we can do about it, ara. I think you have Melissa’s bio pulled up and would probably like to read that. That’s right.
Cara Taylor Swift 2:16
I want to reintroduce folks to Melisa as Kim mentioned, we had Melisa on our show episode 12 Creating Your Entrepreneurial Success Mindset. We highly recommend that if you haven’t heard that episode, or just need a refresher that is one of the most popular episodes of season one. We are just super excited to have Melisa back. So I want to just remind folks, Melisa is a teacher. She’s an author, psychotherapist and pioneer in the field of human horse healing. Over the last three decades, she has coached and helped 1000s Experience the healing power of horses. Melisa founded the touched by a horse certification program, a two year intensive program that trains and certifies equine Gestalt. She’s the author of multiple books and articles. At the core of her approach lies her deep understanding of the transformative power of one of the most important contributions of humanistic psychology. Gestalt therapy. As a guest artist Melisa has guided 1000s of clients through their unfinished business to his level of self awareness that allows room for personal responsibility and a life of self compassion. Melisa also has bred shown and racehorses for over 30 years giving her a deep understanding of their nature. She won two World Championship American paint Horse Association awards, has bred over 200 foals and owns multiple ranches. Melisa, welcome back to the show. We’re so happy to have you back. And I believe this will end up being our very last episode of season two. So what a perfect episode to have you back to talk about this topic. We’re so happy welcome.
Melisa Pearce 3:45
Thanks, Cara. Thanks, Kim. Appreciate it. And it’s a great way to end the season. Right? It’s super, it’s perfect.
Kimberly Beer 3:52
Love it. So let’s start out with an understanding of trolls. I’m going to dive right in because I want I want people to get to this topic because it’s so important. So what what do you know of trolls? And what can you help us understand about them
Melisa Pearce 4:09
really working as a psychotherapist for the last million years, I rarely met a client that had not had someone who sat in authority to them at some point in their life interject or put something into their mindset that stuck. So this could be an older sibling who says you know, you’re such a nerd or you’re such a bother you’re in the way it could be a parent who has a bad temper drinks too much and at dinner, you spill your milk and they tell you you’re clumsy things like that on impressionable children. That’s a really obvious place where those things can be imprinted. Like we think of imprinting a horse when they’re born. Those can be imprinted into your soul and into your mind and what happens If you don’t have enough knowledge of self, when somebody says something like that to you do what we calling the salt swallow at home, you take it as truth, you take it as gospel. So young children are very susceptible. But I will say we see it a lot in batterment situations where one person has a dominance over another person. And so the person who’s being subjected to the dominance looks up to that person as the authority on themselves. Nobody should be the authority on you. But you, right, so with these interjects, they lay dormant sometimes, and they don’t come up until a situation arises that is similar to the one you were in, when this person did this. I’ve seen it Gosh, with bosses that yell at subordinates and you know, tell them blame all their stress right at work on the subordinate. It’s not hard for someone to be interjected. Sadly, I’ve seen clergy interject people by telling them things about them. And if we just don’t have enough formed in our own self esteem and enough personal understanding of who we are, we lack that part to say, well, that’s not true about me, you know. So if I said to you, Kim, because I know you so well, if I said to you, you really don’t have any talent, as a photographer, you need to do something else you would laugh, you would just go well, a whole lot of people say I’m a very talented photographer, because you know, that part of you, you know, you’re an incredible photographer, so you know that you’re solid in that. But if it’s something we’re not solid in, that troll just sneaks right in there, and then continues to whisper it. And that’s, that’s where it gets insidious.
Kimberly Beer 6:47
And how does this like show up in people’s lives? I mean, I know for me, it’s shown up and in ways that held me back in life, I had some trolls that you have helped me get rid of, over the time that we’ve worked together some very ones in my family ones outside of my family, what was fun as I got rid of one in my family, and then went outside of my family and found the same person and and put that person right back in that life role in my world. How does this show up? How have you seen it show up in people’s lives?
Melisa Pearce 7:17
I really believe I was gonna say the worst part of the troll is that they’re sneaky. So the troll is whispering, not screaming. So which is a it’s an ugly little whisper, you know. And so people recognize the person might say, I’m really have a lot of anxiety about this social situation, or I’m really afraid to confront and talk to my boss, or whatever their situation is that’s triggering it. And the troll is whispering the interject. So the troll is saying, you suck. You’re not going to get it. Who are you kidding? You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re applying for this job. There’s me such better people, you know that there is an underlying voice? It’s not the loud voice. It’s an underlying voice usually.
Cara Taylor Swift 8:06
that’s the voice that you hear at 3am. Yeah, yeah. When you can’t sleep at night that’s repeating itself in your head, and you’re having self doubt in your questioning every life decision you ever made.
Melisa Pearce 8:17
Right? Exactly. And the sun comes up does help. A little bit better. So trolls, TROLLS are in the dark, right? But but some people’s trolls then gain strength because they’re not, you know, if you let the troll just run rampant for long enough, it knows you it’s so familiar that you don’t notice it. So if I put my hand on your shoulder, Kara, and I just held it there, you would notice it at first and after a while you wouldn’t even notice it, my hands just there then it could press down a little bit. You really okay. And then I press down a little further and pretty soon you’re doing this and people are like, Why are you tolerating that are pushing on your shoulder. And that’s what that is. We don’t really notice how many times a minute that the troll is whispering the same stuff over and over and over again. And it erodes the fabric of somebody’s self esteem just completely erodes their fabric.
Cara Taylor Swift 9:14
And it’s something I think people like you know, you mentioned pressing down on the shoulder, but people learn to function around that. And they’re still working they’re still taking care of their families. They’re still but it’s it’s almost like it’s this disjointed way of living life with this troll on your shoulder. Can you speak to that just a little bit? I mean, like because people are still functioning
Melisa Pearce 9:38
Absolutely. You will learn to tolerate right now some people will learn to an emphasize it so they start drinking. So when the troll gets too loud, they get a drink and that takes the edge off the troll and they’re not realizing they’re saying as I drink this, my troll is quieter. It’s so sneaky in the troll. Right? Other people they’ll say, oh no I decided not to go for that job. After all, it wasn’t a good fit, they just back away from that situation, because they don’t realize the troll is just undermining, undermining undermining all the time. And studies have shown that if if a person in authority, so a parent, grandparent, clergy teacher, you know, husband, whatever says something positive to someone, they need to say it several times before it gets in past the troll. So once the troll has its fort set up, it’s like a little fortress. And somebody can say something very complimentary straight at it. And the troll just laughs I’ve already built the wall around her, she’s not gonna let that in, it has to come in and come in and come in and come in. But when we deflect a compliment, so somebody says something nice like, well, Cara, you have such a great voice, but you’ve been told your voice is, you know, froggy, then, then it’s hard to get past the troll. And what happens is, the trolls built this wall around it. And pretty soon, the person says, Well, I’m not going to give her the compliment about her voice, because she doesn’t really hear it anyway. So you get less of the good, you repeat to yourself the bad 10,000 times a day, and people get buried. And they don’t know why they don’t know why they have anxiety, they don’t know why they have depression, they don’t know why they are afraid to apply for a better job, they don’t know why they’re afraid to ask for a raise, it has nothing to do with like, you need to just roleplay it and go in there and asked for it. If that trolls alive. And well, he’s gonna be pulling the carpet out from under your feet the whole way.
Cara Taylor Swift 11:35
I think it’s pretty evident how that can affect a small business owner, someone working their animal based business. I mean, there’s opportunities out there that maybe someone doesn’t feel confidently able to handle and they’re not ready to move into the next chapter, or, you know, Kim and I talk, we did an episode where we’re talking about sitting on your butt, you know, just people that are at that place where they feel like they’ve got to get one more certificate, you know, take one more class, you know, before they’re ready to go
Melisa Pearce 12:01
right to prevent action, when really they’re preventing action, because their troll is saying, You’re not enough, yet, you’re not enough, you’re not good enough, you’re not enough, you’re not enough, and just whispering that enough. And that stops them there. They’re not letting the person they’re applying for the job with or the person they’re asking the raise to give the opinion. They’re letting the troll give the opinion, you know, and what is the troll have it to base on that your lemonade stand didn’t go? Well, when you’re in the second grade. And now you’re opening your own business as an entrepreneur, I know I’m going to fail, and my brother looked at me like I was going to fail, he knows I’m going to fail. Because after all, In second grade my lemonade stand and do well. So they’re repeating that to themselves. Instead of like, I’ve gone to school, I’ve worked hard, I’ve listened to other entrepreneurs, I’m listening to podcasts, all that stuff, you know, goes aside if the troll has ahold the kingdom. So it does oftentimes, the troll partners was something else I wanted to mention too, oftentimes with clients who are prevent like entrepreneurs, which is y’alls audience, that are preventing themselves from taking the risk and making the leap and doing the things that they really dream of doing in their vision, what stopping them is what I call MSU. And the troll is part of MSU, in which all entrepreneurs need to graduate from MSU. So MSU stands for making stuff up, I’m using stuff because I assuming you don’t swear, but usually the S is another word so MSU, right? No. So what we do is we’re gonna we’re gonna take our business and we say, Okay, we’re going to take our business, we’re going to submit it into Entrepreneur Magazine for some award. And, you know, we know our business is innovative. So we’re going to go for that award, right? And the troll the whole time is going, Are you kidding me? Everybody’s business is better than yours and doing all that. So the person starts MSU, they start making stuff up, they start saying without any fact without any knowing it, but based on the trolls coaching, they’re saying, oh, there’s probably a lot of businesses better than mine, they’re gonna probably get flooded with applicants. Yeah, they’ll probably laugh when they see how small mine is. That’s all the troll. That’s all the troll and the MSU. So everybody’s got to graduate from MSU. If you’re telling yourself I don’t think I can make that sale, is it based on fact? Or is it based on your fear? Is it based on you telling yourself, I bet this is what that person’s thinking? Look, he’s wearing a suit and I’m in casual clothes. He’s gonna think I’m a flake. You have no idea. He might have just come from the airport and he wishes he could have changed clothes before he came to the event. You’re making it up. He’s totally making it up.
Kimberly Beer 14:46
We do that a lot with money. Yes. One piece of advice that you gave me was to stay out of other people’s wallets. And that’s part of it. It’s part of that MSU that gets in your head when you go to create your billing probably can’t charge this because they probably can’t afford it and it’s probably going to be too high for them. And you don’t know any of that. None of it, stop making it up. Every small business owner wants to gain traction in their marketing. After three decades of working with small business owners just like you, I have developed what I call my four by four marketing method. In just 190 minutes session, you’ll discover the four major focus areas of a successful marketing plan. And together we’ll uncover where your business is getting stuck, you’ll leave the session with an action plan of next steps that engage your revenue engine drop by be more business.com To request your session today. That’s B, E. Mo worry business.com. See you there. I feel like we’ve given people enough to recognize you know, if they have a troll, once you kind of recognize that, what are some things that you can do to help, as you would say, not feed the troll, but what can you do with this?
Melisa Pearce 16:05
feeding it right? Feeding, feeding, there’s an old Cherokee saying about a Cherokee chief, and he was in front of some small children. And they asked him what he was thinking about. And he said, I’m thinking about a war inside of me with two wolves. And he said, these two wolves are going at each other. And one wolf is all about greed and insecurity and fear, and all, you know, all the negative emotions and aggression and all this. And the other Wolf is about asserting themselves and being peaceful, and kindness and all of that. And so the two wolves are fighting, and the children look up and they say, well, which wolf wins the war? And he looks at me says whichever one I feed, and that’s really the truth is if we feed the negative troll, if we say, you’re right, I know Oh, God, what was I thinking that I could do this? And why did I think they take me seriously? And how do I belong on a podcast or whatever you want to make up to tell yourself you’re feeding that troll, you’re consciously replaying its message and buying into it and the troll does a happy dance, whoo hoo, got your right where I want you. And on the other side, the smaller voice is usually the one that says, This is who you are, this is what you have to offer this, you know, it’s it’s bringing you forward in a positive way. And we don’t recognize that voice and sometimes make the mistake of thinking that we’re in an ego move if we feed the positive troll, send an ego move. You know, she’s a little fairy dancing out there hoping that you’ll live your life enjoy. And that’s where that’s that’s where our life should be is enjoy. Right?
Cara Taylor Swift 17:49
And that feels like a very women centered enough to it does the egos diet, right, right. It’s that whole thing like you hear stories of men not having a problem asking for raises and women devaluing their worth
Melisa Pearce 18:01
working with male clients. So Kara, I find a lot of men do have the troll. They’ve also been told by other brothers you never going to make it or they’ve also been told by, you know, fathers. That’s a dumb idea. You’re never going to make it you know, they’ve also been put down, put down put down. So I don’t know, I think it expresses differently. I think for male clients when I hear their troll, it’s an angry troll. And with women, for the most part, these are generalities. For women. It’s the soul beating troll, you know, it’s the insulting troll. For men. They hear this, my dad said I’d never make it. And that’s why I’ve got to make it you know, they’re gonna fight like it’s a war. For women. We just kind of go, Yeah, that sucks. And that’s who I am. And they just roll to it for a long time. Until one day they say, wait a minute, who owns this troll? So the second step of not feeding it, I think, is if you’re able to figure out who gave you the troll. Remember the little troll dolls. I had him as a little kid and he’s taking school, long hair and you put them in a ponytail, they were so cute. And little ones big ones. I love playing with my troll dolls is probably where I got the expression of troll for all this, because they were the ugliest look at little things, right? Little bellies and stuff. And I remember thinking, you know, Can you can you remember and I’ll ask clients, who gave you that first comment about how you look? Or how you sound? Or who you are, or what you can or can’t do or your clumsiness, or whatever it might be whatever your troll says, where’d that start? And it takes some self introspection to figure that out. And it’s usually not one person, but sometimes it is sometimes somebody grew up with a parent who was in so much pain themselves. They took it out on their kid right or they were in a marriage or I find older siblings a lot of times do it and they’re really just take In their frustration out on their good sister or kid brother, but it’s pretty damaging in the big picture. So once you can figure out like, where did this troll come from? I didn’t, I didn’t go to a pet shop and say I want to troll. Where did this come from? Then you have a chance, right? You have a chance to say, okay, so that was set. Let’s say it’s your mom. That was my mom’s thoughts on me. Not my thoughts on me. And was my mom right about absolutely everything else in life. So she has anything she was wrong about. She was probably wrong about this, too. And could I give it back to her? Because I don’t want to carry it around. I’ll ask clients that are 45 years old, I say how old? were you when you moved out of your parents house that were if the parents were emotionally abusive? No, say I was 18. Okay, so for 18 years, they had your ear, they were able to tell you that you were bad, or you were this or you were dumb or whatever, however, they tore you down. But now, my friend from 18 to 45, longer than you were in the house, you’ve been repeating it to yourself. So they taught you how to abuse yourself. And now you’re continuing to abuse yourself on their behalf. That stops clients in their tracks. Oftentimes, they’ll start crying, because they’re like, oh my gosh, that’s what I’ve done. I heard that viciousness from my father or my mother or whoever. And now I’ve carried it forward, and I’ve done it for them going forward into space. And I know I work with people with extreme backgrounds. So not all your listeners have that but it’s interesting, the troll will latch on to anything, you know, to latch on to the big obvious abuse, but it’ll also latch on to the you know, some verses views will let your brother do that. Let your brother do that. Not you. That’s when women get a lot you know, that we’re going to support your brother in that you know, even college sometimes we saved up for college, we think your brothers should go to college. Like what? What happened to me, so so don’t feed it. Don’t make stuff up around it, figure out where it came from. get real about it. And and get take responsibility. My mother, dad, brother, whoever said this to me over and over when I was a kid. That doesn’t mean I have to repeat it and believe it now.
Cara Taylor Swift 22:31
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Melisa Pearce 23:35
We do something in Gestalt that I created called a troll ectomy. It’s a big, big short piece of work for somebody who’s got got it bad.
Kimberly Beer 23:44
And it’s fascinating to watch and fascinating to experience as well. Yeah, it’s, it’s wonderful. And what’s great about it, one of the big passions that I have around Gestalt is that it solves the problem. I mean, it the troll goes away, and you don’t have that voice in your head anymore. And at first is his real absence, right? It’s like, Wait a minute. Where is that voice that’s come out. What’s it? Yeah. Now I know it’s next peeling back the onion layer, but you know, it’s an old friend. Yeah. Yeah. And then eventually it goes away away and you forget that it ever was that way. And I know for me, that was a huge shift in my life when I finally stopped hearing my troll, and I had a concert of them, I think and you know, I mean, it’s just it was nice that it got it got quieter. Yes, yeah. contributors. Yeah, I had a few of them. And I I’m glad that you know those voices aren’t there anymore, because now I can hear myself. And now I can hear my true compass and my true calling and I wished I would have met you many years sooner because I would have liked to have gotten rid of that it would have saved me having to repeat some of those experiences. But in the end, it’s it’s all right to be the way it turns out to be. It’s why
Melisa Pearce 25:05
as women we should celebrate the STEM program in school that so many women are getting into engineering and, and math and all these things because generationally, I’m older than both of you. And, boy, girls, were told it’s not important for you to understand math, it doesn’t surprise me. You don’t know how to do math, math for boys. And that was pretty programmed in and rare was the girl that would say, I get it. I like math. You know, math is easy for me. And we weren’t encouraged on that. And so that was actually interjects, right? That was actually being told because we needed to figure math out. What’s really not that important for you to know that stuff. Don’t worry about it. You know, that’s a reverse interject, right? I think of racism. As an interject. I think of people who have a bias against people who are gay, they’ve been interjected. When you have an opinion, a strong opinion about something. To me. It’s emotional maturity, to trace that opinion all the way back. Where did it come from? If you can trace it all the way back, try it on? It still fits for you? Great merit. That’s your formal opinion. But if you think I don’t know where I came to believe that I have no idea where it came to believe that I just think it’s probably pretty true. It’s because for generations in your family, they’ve held that belief, right? The one on money is a big one that Kim knows I work with people on people often say you have to work so hard to get ahead. You have to work hard to make money. I don’t hold it that way. It not even in the slightest I hold it, you have to find your passion and the money will follow. It’s not about working hard. Do I work hard? Absolutely. You guys work hard. But it feels like passion. It doesn’t feel like a harness and a wagon and you know, working hard. But that’s the interject of our culture. Money doesn’t grow on trees, we have to work hard for it. No, you have to find what you are passionate about. What you wake up in the morning and say, I love what I do. I’m going to go do it some more, then then it follows. There’s a lot of subversive trolls, TROLLS about bodies, oh my god, trolls about women’s bodies. They’re everywhere. They interjects from magazines and everything in our culture, lots of trolls out there.
Kimberly Beer 27:24
Lots of trolls. So just kind of summarize what we’ve talked about. So far, understanding where your troll comes from is really key. learning not to feed that troll is really key, and then tracing it all the way back and figuring out is that really yours to own? Or is it something that was handed to you is is a key to to exercising that troll from your life? If somebody needs a little further help with this process? Melissa, you have yourself and you have graduates in your program that are specialists in this area? Can you tell us just a little bit about that? And how our listeners if they find themselves in a position where they know they have a troll, and they maybe can’t get rid of that troll themselves? Or they need a little assistance? What would you recommend as a next step?
Melisa Pearce 28:18
It’s sort of like being your own attorney in court, right? It’s a good idea sometimes to have somebody outside of ourselves that do some of this process. So all of our graduates in the program are highly competent to find somebody interjects pull the strings back to where they came from. Because sometimes that’s really hard to do yourself, figure out who you need to give those thoughts back to how to do the complete colectomy in one or two sessions, it’s gone. So it’s not six months of therapy, you know, it’s one or two sessions that they’re going to go to to change a lot. They may decide to do more, but that can be a big part of it. so touched by horse.com. I got the name of the company from Touched by an Angel. so touched by a horse calm, you can find our graduates that site is built by Kim by the way, it’s beautiful site, you can find a graduate or you can reach out to me personally, M E Lisa, at touch by horse.com. And I’m happy to hear what it is you need and where you live and match you up with somebody in your geographic area who I know is competent to help you do that. But all of my grads are very, very good at doing this troll. This troll work. Is it so important.
Kimberly Beer 29:32
One more question, Melissa about the process and about your program. It is touched by a horse. How do horses help people be able to eradicate the trolls of their life
Melisa Pearce 29:44
horses see you without your trolls so they don’t see your trolls. They see that you’re not living in fullness. They feel that you’re not living in your best version of your vibration that you could be living in. They want Want you to live in the present moment and more joyfully, so they have a sense and they come over and they go, Oh, okay, so you’re not totally there, you’re not totally home to yourself, you’ve got some stuff going on, and they hold space for it like no other animal can. I really believe it’s why dogs crawl in our lap, why cats come sit on our shoulder animals in by and large understand, gosh, this silly little human is making stuff up in their brain again, and they’re repeating the negative again, geez, I wish she wouldn’t do that. Right. So they try everything they can to distract us to comfort us to bring themselves to us. And to lift us up. I believe horses in particular, they survive on the planet by being really sensitive to those vibrations, and they hear them and they’re able to elevate them and raise them. So sometimes people will tell me beautiful stories about how after their divorce, when their heart was broken, it was being around their horse that lifted it back up. I think that it’s a large animal holding incredibly loving space, non critical, non judgmental, they just don’t feed the troll, you know, they’re right there to say, Hey, this is really who you are. Just breathe, and be here and center with us. So powerful at bringing us more to joy, which is what they live in. They’re not out in the pasture worrying about whether their butts too big from too much Christmas cookies.
Kimberly Beer 31:32
Yeah, fine. That’s awesome. That’s awesome. That’s awesome. Kara, do you have any other questions for Melissa around this topic?
Cara Taylor Swift 31:44
I really don’t. I just so appreciated this, I have certainly dealt with my fair share of trolls and still do occasionally. And I think we
Melisa Pearce 31:51
all do, I think it’s a human experience at different levels, right? For sure.
Cara Taylor Swift 31:56
In in specifically around the area of being a business owner and an entrepreneur, you know, in someone that’s in a position where I’m kind of solely responsible for the success of my business, and I have had to battle my way through, you know, a lot of those kind of negative scripts. So I appreciate that. I know, I’m not the only one. I know, we have a lot of folks that listen, and when we have done episodes that have touched on this subject, you know, in some way, we have gotten incredible feedback of people that have said this was a good episode for me, I really needed to hear that. And I think that’s going to be the same after this episode that we’re recording today.
Melisa Pearce 32:31
Really, the solo entrepreneur is offering a piece of themselves out in service in the world. What a beautiful thing, right? They’re offering it from such a beautiful space out to do something better for mankind and for the world, whatever their business is. And so how do we scare ourselves out of doing that? I mean, really stop and think, how, how is that wrong? Right? And yet people will let the old you know failed lemonade stand in second right stop them.
Kimberly Beer 33:03
Now if our listeners have enjoyed Melissa’s conversation today, Melissa is going to be starting her own podcast soon with a touched by a horse. And I’m very excited to one be a little small part of of that catalyst for you. And also I can’t wait to start listening to it. So we’re anticipating that in quarter one, can you tell us a little bit 22 So people go back and listen to episodes long after so can you tell us just a little bit about what you have planned for your podcast?
Melisa Pearce 33:35
Sure, I have an appreciation now in my life of how unusual my life has been with horses that hasn’t been getting a horse in high school and having a couple more in my life. I’ve had the honor of having a lot of horses and relationships with them in different ways being a breeder and birthing all these folds out and understanding what makes a horse emotionally healthy. And what to do when a horse is not emotionally healthy. So there’ll be one track at some point that follows all of that my Gestalt work and how it blends in with horses and and also the somatic which I’ve spoken about at the big equine affairs etc is the somatic energy response of horses and humans, what that means how it works, how you can go out with your own horse and and play with your horse and learn about these new ways of this horse relating to you. Possibly your horse had been doing some behavior and you never recognized it for what it is and you’ll be able to deepen your relationship with them. As a psychotherapist, I have a lot of feelings about relationships. And you know, Kim that I’ve shared this before, there are a lot of horse trainers out there that are doing a really fine job at making sure that we train horses in a much more humane way. That’s that is definitely changed in my lifetime. 100% and I’m a person who’s What if we stopped whispering to them? And we listened to how they’re whispering to us, you know, what did they have? I just reversed that paradigm. Right? To me, it’s hard to have a relationship with anyone. If I said to Cara, I’m going to have a relationship with you. But we’re going to meet when I want to, for as long as I want to, we’re gonna do what I want to do. We’re going to do it where I want to do it. And please do it. Right, Cara? You know, if that was our relationship, which is the horse, right, we go out, I’m gonna get you out of a stall, I’m choosing the time and the place and what we’re doing and for how long and you got to do it, right. That’s not a relationship. That’s ownership. To me. We’re about partnership and relationship with them. So there has to be some time that we show up in what I call true equitable relationships. So we’re going to talk about that in the podcast as well. And I’m sure a million other things as your listeners can tell, I, you can throw a topic at me and I can yap about it. So I can’t wait.
Cara Taylor Swift 35:55
Let us be the first than to welcome you to the podcast community. We certainly had one heck of a time over the last year. It’s almost been a year now. We’re 50 weeks in. So we’ve almost let us welcome you be the first and we’re really looking forward to seeing you know what you have coming soon. So thank you so much.
Kimberly Beer 36:16
Thank you. Thank you, Melissa.
Melisa Pearce 36:18
Thank you so much. Both of you. Very happy end of year. Congratulations on a successful first year season and I know all your listeners, I just can’t wait to hear what you come up with next year.
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