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Kimberly Beer 0:00
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Welcome to The Business Animal podcast. Saddle up for a gallop to the top of the animal industry, where you’ll learn how to tame your wild business beast with tips, techniques, and tools that will take overwhelm to obedience school, and have you wagging your tail with joy. And now your hosts, Kim Beer, and Cara Taylor Swift.
Kimberly Beer 0:41
Hey there business animals. It’s Kim with Be More Business
Cara Taylor Swift 0:45
and Cara with Fast Horse photography. Hi, Kim…
Kimberly Beer 0:48
Oh goodness, well, today, we have a fun topic for you. It is all about getting to know yourself. So my way to introduce this subject is to have you just sit for a moment mindfully. And I want to ask you to think about this question How well do you really know yourself? I mean, we like to think we’re experts on ourselves, right. But sometimes I feel like we sort of take for granted that we know everything about ourselves when sometimes those things have been handed to us by other people or by culture or by how we think we should be versus how we really are. And for me so many times I watch people in my life and I’ve been guilty of this myself of looking at the other people in my world, and really wanting to understand them, which you know, really getting to know them. Remember back when you were a girl in high school and like you had a crush on a boy. And you would just like to get to know everything about them, you know, you would want to find out like for me, I wanted to know what their sign was to know you know about them and their personality and how they showed up and things did you do that as a girl?
Cara Taylor Swift 2:05
Well, I remember having like the Cosmo magazine, and like sitting with my friends on her front porch. We’d sit together and we would read our own horoscopes and that sort of thing. So definitely and you know, those all those quizzes, like how to better I don’t know all the different quizzes you could do in those magazines to better understand yourself. I remember doing all those when I was younger.
Kimberly Beer 2:23
Yeah, Cosmo had some good quizzes, like, is he the right one for you, or all of those wonderful Cosmo quizzes are something else. But so many times the point I’m trying to make is so many times we seek to understand other people before we seek to understand ourselves. And if we want to really get to understanding our relationships, because generally, that’s what that’s about, right? We want to understand others so we can be a better relationship to them, we need to turn that mirror back on ourselves and really get to know who we are. So today, our topic is to talk about this self awareness process in the capacity of what I like to call typology sorters, they’re temperament test is another word for them. But they’re tools that we can utilize by answering questions or doing certain exercises or experiments that get us to better understand ourselves and the how and why of who we are, why we are the way we are and how we show up as if we were to be able to take off all of the filters that culture in our family and our other relationships have sort of imposed on them. If we were to remove those filters, who are we at that base level? So that’s my understanding of this topic. Cara? How do you look at it?
Cara Taylor Swift 3:49
Well, I definitely think Kim, this is one of those topics where I do a lot of eye rolling, and it’s one that I think you really enjoy. And I’m like, Oh, I have to like figure out how to get behind stuff like this because I always I’m always the person that in those group settings where we have to, you know, understand our inner selves, I’m always the one that’s like really, I really want to do something that feels like I’m checking off the box’s, you know, and getting some stuff done. So for me when I think about this topic, in order for it to work in my brain and my thought process around my business, as I think about it as a topic of self awareness. And a great example of that, for me is taking the time, you know, to understand your strengths and weaknesses. So that might be like one part of understanding yourself, you know, for greater success is what we’re talking about today. So I might want to understand my strengths and weaknesses, because, you know, let’s face it as animal based business owners, if we can understand our weaknesses, that can be pretty huge. But if we can, on the flip side of that, understand where our strengths lie to me that can be an even bigger asset because our strengths are going to be what helps us despite our weaknesses, it’s going to be the thing that pulls us through our weaknesses and understand that what we are good at The things that we are good at that we can we can leverage the things that we are good at is all part of that, that we need to understand what our deficiencies are on top of that, but I think that if we can understand our strengths, so that’s what I think about when I think about self awareness as I tried to find the pieces of that, that I can pull into my business, that’s going to be the strengths for my business.
Kimberly Beer 5:20
Absolutely. And I do want to talk about one thing around strengths and weaknesses. So I’m going to cover a few different types of these tests that you can take to get this type of awareness because we’re going to utilize that concept of of a temperament test, or typology test for that. But what I really want everyone to understand is there’s no black and white, there’s a possibility for somebody to be completely one way or completely another way. But most of us are shades of grey in between. And if we don’t think of it as necessarily a strength or a weakness, but a preference. So some of us have a preference in the way that we show up in the world. And when our preference is met, we are more productive. So I like to think of it and have been taught by my mentor, Melisa Pearce, who taught me a lot about this type of information and about how to work on this. And we’ve had Melisa on the show, the way she describes it is think of it as being right or left handed. Some people are very ambidextrous, they can do things with both the right or left hand, it really doesn’t matter. Other people are way more right handed than they are left handed and other people are way more left handed than they are right handed and our culture is really set up for right handed people. The same thing happens with typology, like the majority of the population is contained within a preference that leans in one direction. And just like our world is set up for right handed people, it’s set up for those people. And in that capacity, it’s set up for people who are extroverts, if you’re doing the Keirsey Bates, or Myers-Briggs type of assorting assessment, and it’s also set up for people who are Js which are the rule followers. So our culture is set up for those people who have that preference. And those of us who may be on the other side of that preference have to really stretch our left handedness over into our right handedness in order to be able to live in that world. So we’ve got to exercise that muscle and it just like a muscle, it becomes where what we would have might have looked at as a weakness actually become something we can develop more strength around,
Cara Taylor Swift 7:37
I like the positive spin on that
Kimberly Beer 7:39
Melisa is really good at what she does. And I love that thought as well.
Cara Taylor Swift 7:43
Yea she is
Kimberly Beer 7:44
So if we’re gonna boil this down, we have our big three. So I want to cover that and then I want to dive into those big three. So big three, number one is to take a sorter and get to know what you are, I actually recommend that you take more than one and I’m going to tell you my two favorites when we get there. And then the second of the big three is to make changes in your life and situations in your business that better support your preference in how you show up in the world so that you can more easily slide into that strength area. And then finally, of the big three. None of us exists in a vacuum not in our businesses, not in our lives, not in our families. If you take this and you make this understanding a team effort, it will benefit your entire life because you not only get to know yourself better, but you get to know the other people in your life better, they get to know themselves better, and we can all step forward in a more compassionate way and show up with a more compassionate way of working together and it makes it for just a better collaborative setting. So the first thing is to actually take a sorter. So the most famous one that most people have taken is either the Myers-Briggs or the Keirsey bates and the keirsey bates is a reduced number of questions from the Myers-Briggs like the Myers-Briggs takes you hours, the Keirsey Bates takes you a few minutes, it’ll give you a four letter temperament type. So the first two letters are extrovert introvert. The second is sensing and intuitive. That’s S and N, the third set of letters is F for feeling and T for thinking and the final set of letters is P for perceptive I believe, and J for judgment?
Cara Taylor Swift 9:33
Is this the one we did together?
Kimberly Beer 9:35
It is it is it’s the one that I gave Cara.
Cara Taylor Swift 9:37
Okay, I was trying
Kimberly Beer 9:38
Cara Taylor Swift 9:39
sounded familiar. That’s right.
Kimberly Beer 9:40
It is and the reason why anytime I go into business with somebody or I hire an employee, or I’ve made all my family members take this that I live in interact with is because it gives me a really good idea of how to work with that person. So and I’m going to give you an example in the number two slot for specifically for Cara and I because I had Cara take the temperament disorder for Keirsey Bates, Keirsey Bates though and Myers-Briggs are not the only sorter in the game, so to speak. There’s also the DISC sorter, which I don’t know a ton about. There’s the Enneagram which is seems to me to be more spirituality based. It has a lot of really interesting stuff to it. I know a lot of people who really live by the Enneagram and they have their friends and relatives take it like I do the Keirsey Bates so that we all can get along better. And then the final one and I have a friend who’s certified in in this one is called the Clifton StrengthsFinder. And I find the Clifton StrengthsFinder, it’s a little different. It doesn’t like give you letters or a type Enneagram gives you a number. I think DISC gives you a number and there’s others. I mean, if you have a favorite and want to share it with us on social media, please feel free to do so. Those are definitely not the only ones out there that you can do. But the Clifton StrengthsFinder is a little different in that it’s identified X number of strengths that humans have and it’ll type them in order for you so most people end up getting to know their first five. And that really helps you I think my situation what it did for me is it helped me understand how my Keirsey Bates sorter temperament showed up in the world, like what I actually preferred as a person where were my biggest strengths lay in that Temperament Sorter situation. And my strengths there are ideation, strategic, positivity, communication and futuristic. So the baseline to this is find one of these that you like and take it. So I know you’ve taken Keirsey Bates, Cara, have you taken any of the others?
Cara Taylor Swift 11:47
No, that’s the only one I’ve ever taken. And so for me, because you know, I say I like to I roll it stuff like this. But I will say that the taking that the experience itself, and that what you and I have gained from it was really huge. And therefore that’s why I was like, yes, we should definitely do this episode, because I really felt like what that did for our working relationship was such a big thing. And I know you’re going to talk about that in big three number two. So yeah, that’s the only one I’ve done. And because my experience that I would totally do one of the others.
Kimberly Beer 12:22
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I highly recommend Clifton StrengthsFinder for people, it’s easy to get a hold of, just go to Amazon. And when you buy the book, it’ll have a code where you can go online and take the test, it’s a little bit longer. And then the book will help you kind of understand your temperament in the Keirsey Bates one there is a book written by the folks who came up with it, and it’s called, “Please Understand Me”. And it’s a wonderful exploration. And I highly recommend it for folks that are really interested in this. So now that you kind of understand a little bit about what these things are. Let’s talk about what it does for you. Because I think this is the huge benefit in these tests. It’s not just so much about knowing yourself, but it’s about how you show up right? So the number two in our big three is to make changes in your world that better support your preference. So for example, let’s take an introvert so introvert extrovert is very much about one how you process things in your world, and also about how you recharge your batteries. So as an extrovert and on the scale I am a nine E which means I’m a very high extrovert. That means everything that goes in my brain that as it processes, it rolls around in there, it has to almost come out my mouth for me to be able to fully grasp it and understand it. That’s a huge strength when it comes to being a podcast host. It’s a huge problem in that I have zero filter when I’m in a situation. I will say things that I don’t think it first and then say it it goes directly from my brain out my mouth. And it’s a problem.
Cara Taylor Swift 14:39
I would like to add that that could also be a huge problem as a podcaster not just a huge strength as a podcaster as your co host I would I mean just on the side, you know, no big deal
Kimberly Beer 14:54
Just on the side. Yes. Well, it does and also the other side of that as being an extrovert is that I also gain energy from being in a group of people. Like if I’m super down, or I’m not feeling energetic, I’m feeling really tired. If I can manage to get myself in a group of humans, my energy level is increases by exponentially by the number of people in the room. And the amount of talking that I’m doing on the flip side of this an introvert, they process everything in their head before it comes out of their mouth. So we identify them as being shy or not talkative. And the truth is, you’ve heard the adage, or the saying that Still waters run deep. That’s very much an introvert because they think about it a lot before they say it. So if you’re an extrovert, you have to give your introvert co host time to talk. Otherwise, you run over everything. Which does happen frequently to poor Cara. Another thing with an introvert is when they go to a party, or to an event, it drains their batteries. So they can go to the event feeling really, really energetic. And the more people the more commotion the more that they have to talk and be on the tireder they are when they leave the event. So Cara, you are as much of an introvert about as I am an extrovert. And that’s an interesting opposite for the two of us. Wouldn’t you agree?
Cara Taylor Swift 16:29
Well, absolutely. But knowing that about myself, I can, you know, we talked about this before the show knowing that about myself, and we’ve talked about this on other episodes, I can prepare and plan for that. So you know, making those changes to better support what I know about myself. So I can set a time limit, I can set a goal. And I can accomplish that while I’m out. And then I know that I have an end in sight and can go home and recharge. So I might say I’m going to go to this event and I’m going to get you know, contact information for five people, I’m going to stay for a certain amount of time. And then I’m going to give myself the option to leave if I’m ready to leave and go home and recharge so. But I wouldn’t necessarily know that about myself that that was something I needed to do unless I had spent some time kind of working on that. And that can make a big difference. Because you know, I might beat myself up about the fact that I go to an event and I’m miserable when I’m there or that I’m leaving early. You know, when I show I should stay the whole time and see every segment or I should have talked to more people. But if I can set a goal for myself knowing that that’s something that is within my temperament, then I can leave feeling like I had a success because I accomplish the goals that I set for myself.
Kimberly Beer 17:40
Exactly. And the great thing about this understanding is it really does let you adjust things so that you get the best of both worlds, you get to play to your strengths, and doesn’t mean it needs to hold you back. So one of the saddest things I see in my business is people who are introverts. They are like, I don’t understand what’s wrong with me that I can’t go to more of these events or that it bothers me or that I can’t talk to people. And I’m like, stop, there’s nothing wrong with you. This is who you are. It is a preference. And the world is set up for extroverts. And we work within that paradigm as a culture, it doesn’t it make you wrong, it actually I think makes the culture wrong because it’s not inclusive of a chunk of the population that is sizable and be able to get to their preference as much. I love the meme, I see it on Facebook all the time where it says you know, we always tell introverts, they need to be more outgoing, but we never tell extroverts to basically shut up. So this is comfortable for introverts to be in. So I think that’s a, I think that’s an important piece. But introvert and extrovert for a lot of people, we’re using that as an example because it’s easy for people to understand. It’s something that you probably have run into in your life, and you probably get, but it’s not the only way that you can understand the rest of that temperament. But I hope you get from that example about how to make changes that better support your personal preference and how you show up in the world. It’s really, really key and to bring in number three, and we’re going to keep on with number two, because I think it’s going to be evident as I bring in number three. This understanding is a team effort. Like we mentioned when Cara and I decided we were going to do the podcast together I asked her politely, will you please take this temperament test for me and I will I will verify she did not roll her eyes at me
Cara Taylor Swift 19:39
and I rolled my eyes and probably moaned and groaned a little bit.
Kimberly Beer 19:43
I don’t think you did, I think you said sure I’ll do it because it was a new relationship and it was okay. Now you probably…
Cara Taylor Swift 19:51
well you know it was a new relationship, now my true colors are coming out.
Kimberly Beer 19:56
So she did take it and one of the things that we discovered right off the bat that had kind of hit us in the preliminary parts of of starting to explore this process of working together was that I am an N and Cara is an S. So Ns and I’m an NF, which is the two letters that go together, which means I really fly by the seat of my pants, and I am a very high NF and Cara is a pretty high S. Ss need data to make decisions, they need to research stuff they need to know all around it before they talk about it. Or before they make a decision. The way that they make a decision is very different from an N and N makes the decision kind of off the cuff. So an example that Melisa gives them that I personally like is when you go to buy a car, are you the type of person who shows up to buy that car, and you just you know all the data, you’ve compared all the models of the cars, you know what their fuel mileage is, you know what the engine size is, you can compare prices, you’ve even compared maybe what paint color lasts the longest. An S wants all of that data before they make a decision. An N shows up at the car lot to look at car A and they may have read over some things about that car, but they get on the car lot and over in the side, there’s this really interesting looking car, and they immediately know that’s their car. So they’re willing to take left turns right off of the bat. And the higher the N the more they live by their intuition. And the more they kind of do that fly by the seat of their pants where the S needs research. So in our process to do the podcast, understanding each other was really important because I’m the type of person who doesn’t I don’t even really need the notes. I don’t that’s not an important thing to me. I would be fine with Cara and I meeting every Wednesday morning and just like oh, what do you want to talk about today? And let’s talk about it. But in Cara’s world, that doesn’t work, right. So you guys benefit from both of us.
Cara Taylor Swift 22:07
And we learned that real quick because we would record and you might be okay with something and I’d be like absolutely not. We can’t put that into the world. No way and we’d have to rerecord and rerecord. And we learned really quick that if we if we put this process in place, and you know, make it more of a team effort and really kind of think through some of that, that we both are in a better place and both of our typologies I guess you could say were kind of met there, but it took us a little bit to get there and we had to do some of that work to figure that out.
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Kimberly Beer 23:46
Understanding is the first step of being a compassionate leader, a compassionate partner, and part of a bigger team and understanding how everybody comes together around their own preferences. So for me I do like the fact that it’s organized I love being able to look at Cara’s notes and and it actually helps me a lot but it wouldn’t have been the way that I showed up and I think the end result is that you guys have a better podcast to listen to because you do have two different types of people with very different preferences one is not right one is not wrong they just simply are and I think that’s the the way that you have to approach all of this. Another way that this shows up for Cara and I as well is I am a P which means that I’m more free flow I definitely my mother always said I chased butterflies and that’s a very P thing. We like to chase butterflies so we flit off after the next shiny object, Cara is a J and J’s think things through they want to follow the rules. They show up on time they keep things organized Ps are like oh, it’s two o’clock last time I looked at my watch it was 9am no wonder I missed my 10 o’clock appointment, you know? So. So having that that JP thing means that you guys get episodes every week. If it were just me, it would be random here and there. So it’s definitely a strength there.
Cara Taylor Swift 25:18
Well, I was just gonna say, and then you know, me being a J, and you recognizing that means that, you know, you set timers, if you have to, and you set alarms so that we’re in the same place at the same time, and that we’re both on time. And at the same time, I recognize your P and I help with it to some extent like that makes, you know, like, I might send you a message or a reminder. Or if you’re 10 minutes late to something I don’t stress about it, because I know you’re coming. But that’s your personality. So we work around that a lot together.
Kimberly Beer 25:49
We do. And also my P…
Cara Taylor Swift 25:51
I make it sound like you’re late all the time. And you’re never late. But
Kimberly Beer 25:55
well, but but the P also drags you out of your comfort zone, right? Sometimes I grab your hand and say Cara, let’s go chase a butterfly. And the butterfly goes a really cool place that you’re glad it went.
Cara Taylor Swift 26:06
Kimberly Beer 26:07
I do love the fact that like I said, it’s just a preference. It’s not a right or a wrong. It’s how you show up and understanding it from each other’s perspective. It stops like the anger or the disappointment or frustration, it helps with that. And then also understanding it from that point of view to say, you know, hey, I get this, but let’s try this or, you know, can you can you be a little bit more mindful of who I am and and that just it makes for a better team, it makes for a better work environment, it makes for a better business, it makes for better marriages, marital relationships,
Cara Taylor Swift 26:48
in a business situation where you’re running your animal business, if you can understand yourself better, it’s going to help you in leadership situations, it’s going to help you deal with conflict, either with employees or with clients, potential clients or other organizations out in the world, it’s going to help you be a better communicator, it helps you make decisions better because you know yourself a little better. And it kind of guides that it can help you in coaching or teaching others. So if you’re in a position where you have to guide others it can understanding your personalities can help you in that it can even help you with something that’s really important to all of us business owners out there closing the sale and keeping your clients coming back to you over and over again.
Kimberly Beer 27:27
Absolutely, and goal setting, future planning all of those things, understanding yourself and how you interact with the world and understanding the other people in your world is hugely beneficial, and you want to know something else. Here’s an interesting little side note to this topic. Animals have typology too. They have preferences as well. And Melisa wrote a book with my other friend, Carolyn Fitzpatrick, who is a horse trainer in Virginia. And probably one of the best horse trainers in the entire world. I swear, Carolyn is is amazing. They wrote a book called “Equusology” that takes the temperament type, and it translates it so that you can understand your horse. So you have little ways of being able to test your horse as to whether they’re an introvert or an extrovert, or whether they’re an S or an N, or a T, or an F or a J or a P. And it’s fun to get to know the animals in your life. So if you’re working with an animal on a regular basis, being able to understand that animals preferences, helps you communicate with them as a trainer, and also again, play to their preference and bolster up what’s the other side so that they’re a little bit more on the balance side as well. So you can check that book out. It’s at touchedbyahorse.com. You can click on the shop and “Equusology” will be in there. But, it’s an interesting concept and I’m certain at some point in time somebody will come up with that same thing for dogs I have a feeling cats would tell you that they don’t need a temperament test. But I think that I think a lot of the other animals would be down to take it. So I know the horses are I could just see my cat going. Yeah, I’m not doing that. That’s the eye roll that I would get from Serena. Yeah, no, she’d just bat me in the face and say go get, go get me some food. Human servant.
Absolutely. So the Keirsey Bates is if you just Google Keirsey Bates you can find this sorter online somewhere. It doesn’t do you a lot of good in interpreting it unless you get that book that’s “Please Understand Me”. The way I would actually recommend that you do the Keirsey Bates if you want to explore that more for yourself or for your entire team is to work with a Gestaltist because that particular temperament sorter works really well with Gestaltists and we talk about that a lot on the podcast. But if you’re new here, just reach out to me or and I can hook you up with somebody in your area. Or if you want to work with me, I can help you get that understanding of that particular test and how to understand how to apply it to your life. I think taking the test is only like, like we have in the big three, taking the test is only step one, there’s additional steps after that, you can’t just take the test and say, Oh, that’s who I am. You need to be able to support yourself by making changes in your environment, and understanding other people in your life and how your relationships and how you interact with them. So that one is there. DISC and Enneagram are also both available online, there’s versions of these all of those tests that are paid that you can take, or I’ve also found them all for free out there. So you can just grab them, the free ones tend to not have any interpretation that goes with them. Or if they do, it’s a very black and white interpretation and I really want to reiterate again, I don’t care what of these you take, it’s always shades of gray, there would be a very rare human that is all of the way on one end or the other as well as a rare human. That’s all in the middle. Like it’s very rare to have a person who is exactly a split of introvert extrovert or J or p so it’s not common to see that split. It’s also not common to see the extremes. But you can take those online just Google them Enneagram is spelled e-n-n-e-a-g-r-a-m, I believe it’s spelled with an E, I think that’s the primary thing you need to know and disc is spelled with a C. So D-I-S-C. The Clifton StrengthsFinder is always paid, you’re going to have to pay to take it, the best way to do that is to just buy the book, the book comes with the code. Now you cannot buy the book used because if you buy the book used the person who has had it has used the code and it’s only a one time code. So they took the test. And now the book is just there. And if you buy it used, chances are if that person has used the code and you’re not going to get it I would recommend you to buy the book new from any bookseller will have it is just simply called Clifton C-L-I-F-T-O-N StrengthsFinder. And there are trained coaches that will work with you about being able to understand your team. Now my friend Jen Wewers who is in Kansas City, she has a business called Give Gratitude. And she works with nonprofits in helping them build a better volunteer base and a better understanding of their board because nonprofit boards, I think struggle a lot to understand each other and move forward as a team. So that’s part of what she did. She took their entire training at whatever Institute it is and is able to help teams better recognize in the nonprofit world how to understand their strengths and move together as a cohesive unit towards the common goal of the nonprofit. There’s duplicates of Jen out in the world in places and I do believe that if you go to the Clifton StrengthsFinder website, which you can Google, there will be information on how to find one of those individuals. I had Jen come here and work with me and two employees that I had at the time. And it was enlightening to take a look at the Clifton StrengthsFinder compared side by side with the Keirsey Bates that we had already done, because it added an additional layer of understanding that I think was hugely beneficial because I had a very high introvert working for me, but that high introvert was their number one strength was being an includer. So can you imagine being an introvert that is like really doesn’t like being in large groups of people, but needing to include everyone in what you did, it’s a huge conflict, right? And it’s no wonder that individual has some anxiety around that. So just knowing the one one or the other of those would not have given the insight to the level of anxiety that was happening internally for that person. So seeing them both together, however, helped me understand as the boss that I had kind of a double layered effect going on and I needed to be mindful of both of them. So being a good leader is understanding your people and what they need. And believe me you that’s a that’s a process that I can I’m continuing to try to explore and to learn is to be a better leader. And it’s it’s hard. That’s that’s one of the biggest challenges of my life.
Cara Taylor Swift 34:46
Wow, this is such an interesting topic. Thank you so much for this idea. It’s one of those kind of out of the box ones but I just I think this like you said it could be such a big help for folks, especially when you’re trying to collaborate, work with Other businesses, work with employees. I just I don’t know. I’d like to hear folks results. So if you’ve done one of these before, let us know online what you thought about it, you just shoot us a message or something we’d love to hear from you guys over on Instagram or Facebook at The Business Animal. And thank you so much for listening today. If you haven’t already, please give us a review and a rating. We’d really appreciate it. It lets us know that you’re out there and that you’re enjoying the show and listening. Thank you so much for joining us today.
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